Day Six: morning

Upon reflection I realize that I had attributed much of my happiness to him when he was only a part of that. No one person has the ability to make or break you. They can inspire you and they could pull you down but it's all in what you take from them and ultimately it's within yourself.

Things were already on an upswing before I met him. I was just getting back to trying to draw some more and I was in a new store with new challenges but was a better environment for me. Meeting him was icing on the cake for all the other good things that were going my way. I did feel more confident after that. I had the ability to let my guard down, just a moment, to let someone completely new into my life. That made me happy. It helped too that this person was an all around great person, had a good soul, and was doing so much with his life. There are times I'm I'm completely awed by him.

However, my happiness was and still is not directly related to meeting him. He makes me happy, don't get me wrong. Okay, well, maybe this week I wasn't terribly happy because of the turn of events but once again it still all boils down to one basic truth. One that I've always known and had managed to forget temporarily;

You are responsible for how you perceive things.

It's something I've always told friends, something I liked to live by. Once the dust settles you really choose your own destiny. You can feel wronged, play the victim, cast blame onto others but that means that that situation or person has power over you. Often, I'll ask friends or coworkers who have had some minor thing happen to them that they're whining about, "what did you learn from this?". If you've learned something and can take something away then that experience wasn't a totally negative one. There is so much basic good everywhere. The challenge sometimes is just finding it or being open to finding it.

I may have made mistakes. I have let myself get carried away. I may have been selfish. I'm okay with that because I can not change the past. I can only shape the future from here on out.